I think my heart is still off balance. I know I want something but I don't know what it is anymore.

You know I mean no mallice.
I feel i've been here before.

Breakfast with my familey. Simple pleasures makes my esssince smile. Last day of school is coming. And i am ready.

leave your brain at the gate

And let you're 5,000 year old emotions take over.

I like it when my brain is numb. Feel my heartbeat and my pulse get dumb.

Today i saw a police turn on his turbo engine and race by in one of the most beautiful part of town. And i wonder where it goes.

Not to tute my own horn, but i'd say I am a resilent guy. I take most set backs in stride.I just wonder where the emotions I bash off go.Hopefully not inside me

It all feels like a dream. First hispanic on the supreme court. Fuck yes!

So close

yet so far away.

I just wanted to grow together.

I find it crazy that I went over to your house with the intention of telling you how much I was willing to work it out this summer, I wonder how you'd feel if you knew that is what I was going to tell you.

but you talked first.

of course.

I can't tell what you want from me.

They say never let someone waste your time.

I wonder if this will all make sense one day.

Ol' Dirty Bastard

He knows what is up.

" I accept chaos. I don't know whether it accepts me."

I enjoy getting what I like. Things are real nice. Who is it looking after me?

Chief Justice Benito Sanchez

Has a nice ring to it really.

People look at me in a different way when i'm dressed for work. Latino people in particular, and most interestingly: latino girls XD

Introspection

I like to shake things up.

Maybe I am just more curious.

I seem to make a lot of decisions based on my simple desire to know why, or how.

When will it stop though? How far will I go, just to know?

I crave to share everything with everyone.

The good, the bad, the sad, the glad.

....

It's difficult not to feel frustrated: sometimes I feel like Plato's character in the cave who saw the light, and other times I feel like an ignorant pig who leaves a trail of filth behind him.

But why would I not want to share an experience so special and close to me?
This must be what some Christians feel like.

I want to find the one who will allow me to explore all sides of them.

Perhaps too selfish a wish.

But in case I ever do find you, allow me to address you directly right now:  

This world isn't big enough for the likes of us, so let's just leave right after we meet up. 

A handshake, and just like that we'll be gone.

 To explore space, inner and outer, with each other forever and ever.

I know i'll never find you.

Sleep paralysis

Is really freaky.

I woke up and I was able to move?! But I could only move a certain way, with like slow arm movements, and I kept hallucinating about a boy and a girl in my vision, only they were upside down.

I need to know whats going on....but I'll be dammed if i'm not curious as fuck about all this.

Time to explore

The moon whispers sweet nothings and the cookies bring good fortune. The air smells fresh. The night sounds bold. I am alive.

Let me thank who ever I need to thank for my blessed life. When things go good my soul is set free. I love everyone. Living life is to fun to think about death.

Lack of light

I get sleep paralysis pretty regularly, it is not a big deal to me anymore, it would be mildly traumatizing as a child, but I like to play around with it now  cause it is interesting.

But last night I had a particularly powerful experience though, and for the first time in quite a while I felt legitimate terror.

As I've gotten older I've started hallucinating while the sleep paralysis takes effect, shadows will form objects and start talking, things like that, but I am not sure what happened last night, I seem to remember thinking there were ghosts filling my room and I wanted to move so badly, but I couldn't move and every time I tried waves of terror would wash over me, I was so scared. 

...and then the oddest sensation of my life. Sleep paralysis is caused because the body still thinks you are still REM sleeping. As I tried to get out, it felt like my brain was pulling me into a dream world, while I tried desperately to stay conscious and in the real world. I then felt my brain almost switch back to reality and allowed me to move. It was really intense and I just laid there gasping for air for a while.

u_u, I wish I could just fall asleep. 

Oh the power.

Of alcohol.

That devil sneaks up on you.

I wouldn't know though, I don't drink.

:O

One day I'll understand why those two are so strange...

The day was so beautiful, it was hard to comprehend.

The happier I am with life, the more spirtual I get.

I talked to my friend how today was a blessed day, and he started ranting about how it wasn't bleessed and just a good day.

It pissed me off, why can't it be blessed? Why can't you feel like this world, this life, this existance is giving you a gift, a break, a blessing?

The more spirtual I get the less alone I feel in the world.

Can you not see we're both heading to heartbreak?

Maybe some things are worth it.

It'll all make sense when it needs too. 

It's okay my little rabbit friend, we're all hidding from something.