So do I keep fighting?

I was serious you know, the first time we kissed that connection was sparkling.

Don't think it's just coincidence that snow formed once we got cold.

I lit that match to burn some incense, I guess I burned a lot more than I intended.

IMPULSE GOT ME TO NEW YORK.

IMPULSE GOT YOU TO ME.

I

guess

I

am

not

SPECIAL

enough

withoutsomecleverlyplaced

MAGIC.

You tell me.

How excited am I to find the ever so rare INFJ?

More than you'll ever know.

WORD VOMIT

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted to something.

Desire to inspire a spiral of everlasting fire.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry for something.

Want to flaunt and stomp and chomp.

Everyone wants something, no one is sincere.

Even those you count as near.

My Dear,

It has been a while, but I am ready to put all my eggs in this basket.

If,

you promise you won't get hungry

for scrambled eggs.

They'll break me down, and build me up.

And you know what?

For once

I will let them in

and see

how to be

a man

with

no

sin.

Baby, you're not the shit, you lack DESIRE even though you seem to want DANGER and meaning.

If you're not here to play for the big leagues, then get the fuck out of this game and don't waste my time.

I want you, but don't.

DESIRE, but with no fire.

You want me, then don't....so fuck it.

What i'm trying to do is much more important than you unless you're ready for perfection.

So buck up baby, you got a tough decision to make.

The Sun is my lucky star, and the Moon is my favorite rock.

That empty feeling is coming back.

˚˚∆˚˚

Tonight I lit a cigarette hoping it would calm my nerves.

As the tip began to glow red it feel from my hand.

What a mess.

I wondered around my back yard hoping to stare at the Moon,

but like most things I seem to be searching for now a days, it was nowhere to be found.

A walk, good idea.

As I turned the corner I finally spotted it, glowing in half it's majesty.

Through glasses the Moon seems to sparkle.

I found a bright star and tried to make it my lucky one, but I found no warmth from it.

I realized I already had one.

The Sun is my lucky star, and the Moon is my favorite rock.

I inhaled and felt the smoke steal some of my life away.

What was I doing? I didn't want this, I didn't need it.

I threw it down and took a deep breath.

At least my lungs were happy.

˚˚∆˚˚

Sleep deprivation makes depression easy to catch.

Of the things I get too little of, sleep is right up there, probably next to nourishment.

˚˚∆˚˚

I walked to a bridge close to where I live, the elevation seemed comforting.

As I got closer, the lights surrounding it casted four long shadows around me.

Finally, I wasn't alone, I had an entourage.

A train was was coming, due north.

At the top of the bridge I could pretend that I was on the tracks below without getting hurt.

The lights came closer and I could feel myself getting excited,

a rush,

a danger,

blood pumping.

Before it "hit" me, it stopped, right in the middle of everything.

You think life does things like this on purpose?

˚˚∆˚˚

My entourage and I headed home, deep breaths, slow steps.

I locked myself out.

If I were a braver man, I would have kept on walking.

THE SUN IS MY LUCKY STAR, AND THE MOON IS MY FAVORITE ROCK.

uninspired

There is so much to write, but life doesn't wait for you to get it all down.

September has been good, I think I'm getting ready to do something great if I can all the pieces to fit in nicely.

I'm a little lonely at the moment, mostly because of my own state of mind.

I just walk through everything that happens everyday and I keep searching, asking, and wanting some sort of PURPOSE.

I am fueled by passion, a love and need to express myself in the only way I know i'm good at doing.

But is that enough to live a life on?

What is the alternative? The only ones I see are soulless and are filled with less meaning than what I am doing now.

I can't shake the feeling that something catastrophic is going to happen in my life time that will force me to shift from "living" to "surviving"

It's so fucking pretentious and sounds so stupid, but this thought can't escape my physique.

Blah, I can't even spill my thoughts out here completely, whenever I feel like writing here a million things come up and I forget what I wanted to document.

Love: competition.

I'm a competitive person, but I wish I had better strategy sometimes.

Love: Love.

That's more like it.

DANGER DANGER DANGER.

Ideas can be dangerous, and you seem to love them.

I forgot words were this powerful. How far could this actually go....



immediately dangerous just to show...






DANGER DANGER DANGER

You're trying to prove something, I can't tell what though.

DANGER

DANGER

DANGER





You're pretty and your head is full of DANGER.




and so is mine

A brother hood is what I need.
And fuck what anyone else thinks.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A MOTHERLESS CHILD

The boy grew up.

Always searching.

Always looking.

Always missing,

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

The boy grew up,

and it would show

that he was scarred

that he was charred

that he could be a STAR,

but always missing

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

The boy grew up

and the memories faded

his heart grew jaded,

cause other love never quite nourished

never quite flourished

it was always missing

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

sometimes I feel like a motherless child

because I was

because I am

and the older I grow, the less can remember her

and eventually all memories will be gone

and I will be left with nothing.

The only woman who will ever love me unconditionally for the rest of her life

was gone before I could understand

how much it would

help

me

now

Ashes nourish life.

Strength is born from pain.

The boy grew up

Stronger than most

Because no girl could

ever break his heart

the way his

first love

did.

Chicago

Looking at the contemporaries, a common theme is the leap that set their careers on overdrive.

Chicago looks like a great landing spot.

K.
I wish I could get to know you better.
I was frustrated because I wanted to talk to you alone.
Not even in a romantic sense, I just hated not having one on one time.
So I could figure you out better.
And solidify some type of
Deep.
Meaningful.
Connection.


I'll see you in Chicago but not for a while, till then your sunshine eyes will lay heavy on my mind.







CHICAGO

I didn't want to leave you.

I think you took a bit of my heart.

You can keep it, i'll be back to pick it up.

http://mostlyjunkfood.com/
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/10/the-creativity-crisis.html

Messy messy messy

My life is just one mess after another.

ORGANIZATION.

OBLITERATION.

FASCINATION.

MESSY

MESSY

MESSY

Don't talk to me like that.

Drunk Rich White Girls.

Fuck that.

Don't talk to me like that.

"You should be a super star"

And you should watch that ugly mouth of yours.

Take a chance on that off hand glance.

BENITO: SMILE BACK.

Watch as I change my stance.

Posture is important.

Attention is a must.

Eye contact.

Strike.

Spark.

IGNITION.

An artist looks for the ideal and always falls short.

A boy looks for a girl and always falls short.

BUT A MAN HAS A PLAN

It is so very difficult to picture lightning.

The second you try to take the picture, the moment is lost.

Trying to capture anything as elusive as lightning can be maddening.

FALURE

after

FALURE

after

FAILURE

Who has the stomach for that?

Oh right, me.

So much to learn.

So many flaws.

So many issues.

So much work.

One day I will understand.

A man has a plan.

Tonight was a good night.

It surprised me....which is honestly what I have been looking for.

Chicago soon, lets get lost in the city.

It is so EASY.

ahhhh.

Summer work outs.

Chicago will be like my spring game.

AND THEN.....

One final big 12 season.

I am alllllll smiles.

Because baby, I am ready.

I.

Am.

READY.

I am a collection of distorted memories.

When one fades, another takes it's place.

I rewrite my past daily.

I am just an idea, my identity does not exist.

I will live like this forever

Sex and Violence, Pain and Silence.

Empathy.

Empathetic.

You are PATHETIC.

Connection. Inspection. Reflection.

Dealing. Healing.

STEALING.

Why, oh why…

Why, oh why…

Why, oh why…

Do the stars outside hide when we light the sky?

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

The sins of man must be repaid.

This I know, but hate to say.

∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫∫

I can feel the way you do just by just looking at you.

But there are things in the way.

Electronic whispers.

Shadows of connections.

A sea of dead affection.

ø

Place me in the sky.

When stars explode, galaxies die.

When no one cares, no one tries.

Electricity makes it so easy to hide.

YOU ARE PATHETIC

Empathetic.

Empathy.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

I don't want anyone to hurt me.

Nights like these remind me why I buckle so much at the constraints around me.

Next time I need to kill that little voice inside me that holds me back.

Beautiful girls.

And...

they only get prettier, honestly.

Oh boy indeed.

But, when the moon is as abstract as it was tonight, would you expect anything less?

Hamlet was not a inactive character.

He had choices laid out before him.

∆∆∆ Sure he contemplated ∆∆∆

his actions

but

when it come time

HE STRUCK

AND STRUCK

AND STRUCK

Everything around him collapsed.

But he got the revenge he was looking for.

He knew


he
knew


that when it was all said and done
when the sins were counted
when the souls were judged
when death comes


there is only silence



O that this too too solid flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew

It's all our faults.
Good luck.

a curious feeling

==dreaming
--seeing

∆∆believing

I wish it were easy.

I could sit back and...

watch
it
Happen.

miracles
with
empirical...


evidence

reverence

eventually: severance





Be careful what you wish for.
But be extra careful what you work for.







amirghtoramiright

∆∆DoubleTrouble∆∆

I am caught in a world of

CONTRADICTIONS.
CONTRAST
HUE

BRIGHTNESS


I'm getting better.
A writer.
A fighter.






THINK FAST.
TALK SLOW.
LOVE ALWAYS.

in a very strange place

I can witness

what I have studied in others

before me.





When the story

the idea

the myth

the concept

takes place of

what you remember OR

who you are.

"BENITO, NEVER DISAPPOINTS"

Yeah, because I dunno what the fuck I am in your head.


"one day the truth will fall on you"




And I dunno what the fuck I am in my head anymore either.

SLOWLY SLOWLY SLOWLY


So slowly I could miss it.

But I'm watching it happen.

FLOAT IN SPACE BABY: just exist.

No one can talk shit, and if they do, FIGHT and win or FLY AWAY with a flip off.

The grass is always greener babe.

But, I don't jump fences. I water my grass until it's a jungle.

Then I build a fence.

Then I find more jungles to grow.




Hips, and hair, and lips, and flair.
Whats...love got to do with it?




Watch what you wish for, you might panic when you get what you wanted.

easy now, it is okay.

I am to sleepy to say what I need to.

That bike really gives your life a boost.

Scrimmage, nothing more, like summer workouts.

For...one final big 12 season.

Good night.

∆∆∆GHOST.
GhOst.
gHoS. GHOST.
GhOst.
gHoSt.

GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.
GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.

GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.



∆∆∆
GHOST.



everywhere I look.
but, never, ever, does it consume
me
or fuel the fire
which powers
who
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
am


Hmm, and anyone who sees it differently offends me deeply.
And depresses me greatly.
And will turn me into a...

GHOST.

Only, it's nice...to have some TIME.
Some time to explore the things I tend to neglect.
Or tend to stumble into.
Because we're young.
Because we're bold.
And youth is wasted on the young.

tongue
stun
gun.






Ahhhhh, your eyes reveal much more than what you could say.
Body Langauge.
Timing.
And...a clear or bold head.

I saw a little taste of the vibe I was looking for.
but, again, a fleeting moment.
A gHoSt of a feeling.

Today Males, Heidi, Brad, James, and I played with sparklers at Heidi's apartment.
It was a struggle simply to get them outside, but an excusable struggle, the influence of that green herb we all SeeM to LovE so much makes you MELT.
However, a space captain never lets his cadets down. Outside we went.

It was a struggle to even light them.
Only one Bic was present. Sharing was quite difficult.
Especially when B's went off while all our hands were directly in his line of FIRE.
M ran over and lit his up off off B's outgoing sparks.
H used her Bic to get her's off
I took her's and got mine off.

And lastly J lit his.

We danced in the sparks of our wands:
as if we knew that this was a moment
were we could be simple
were we could dance
under the moonlight
and shower each other with
chemical miracles
if
we
wanted
TILL THE END OF



time.

And then one of those moments happened.
You know the ones.
∆∆∆


I step up and yell "AVADA KEDAVRA" in jest.
Giggles giggles
M steps up and shouts "EXPELLIARMUS"


∆∆∆
Time ceased, why would it care about this moment?
Time appreciates profoundness.

Time granted me a gift.
it SlOwEd DoWn.

It let me experience the moment fully.
Watching the tip of M's Sparkler fly off the wand.
The ball of light, flaming with crackling light and sparks,
Illuminate our faces as it curved around me and landed with a flourish
in
the
GRA§§





˚Perfect˚

How

could I ever forget

a moment like that?

I'm not the best friend you could have.
But I'm no where near the worst.
And that is my truth.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p


Perspective.




V.v.V.v.V

Vibes.






AND THE OUTSIDE VOICE OF REASON













I say it exactly how I meant.
Even if I didn't mean to.

Oh strike me now with inspiration.

Oh hit me where it hurts.

Mere eyes will not suffice.

For what I have unearthed.





Aren't we just so cornered here on earth?







...but what we see in the sky...

...

My Time Ticks By

≈ƒ≈ƒ≈ƒ≈

so...please...

.


∆∆∆∆
TEACH ME TO FLY

How does it feel
to be real
and surreal
all in the same deal

Chess, Cookies, Tequila, red heads, lightning, rooftops, blonds, and....

"I just like you're style you know? Just...how you are"







Ups and downs.

I kept having this dream.
And one person in particular couldn't escape my thoughts.
But, it was a restless sleep.
I could not slumber comfortably.
I kept waking up
and thinking
one
word


GHOST.


Which, one way or another, describes every girl in my life right now.

a summer storm
such contrast
between the clouds
within which
I saw lightning
strike
into the
hearts
of
those
around
me

Another image to add to the collection.

Another feeling to throw in the bucket.
Another idea to toss around the brain.










I'm getting closer......i can feel it.

Wait a second...

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

...okay carry on

WAKE UP.

√√√

EVERY DECISION WE'VE EVER MADE IS BASED ON THE FALSE PRETENSE THAT WHAT OUR SENSES SENSE IS SOMEHOW THE ENTIRETY OF WHAT "REALITY" IS

Everything...the big decisions in our lives,

the petty ones,

what we love,

what we hate,

what we kill,

what we save,

what is good,

what is evil.

All of that is based on the fragment of reality we experience, the sliver of consciousness our mind, with such imperfect instruments, dreams up.

I mean, I can create a real life on this stage,

I can create the feeling,

I CAN CREATE IT.

Don’t you see the power in that?
I can make you cry,
I can make you laugh,

I can make you cheer for me, bless my every action,
or I can have you screaming for my blood and bring out that primal urge in all of us.


I can show you something that isn’t “real” but gives you every emotion that corresponds with the action on stage,

so what makes it any less real than anything you’d experience off stage?


This all so confusing, and sometimes I dunno wither I am dreaming you all, this whole situation:

The Stage.
The Lights.
The Audience

These very thoughts in my head right now

When does dreaming end, and real life really begin?

(walk towards edge of stage, probably the middle of the cat walk, and get in a trust fall type position)

I cannot see behind me, My senses can’t sense it, so does that mean that anything behind me exists?

Here I go, because if it is a dream maybe I’ll hit the cold fucking floor and it’ll finally wake me up

(fall back, we'll see what happens)
SCENE.

Baby, show you some of your truth.
And I'll show you some of mine.









None of dem get my sex
None of dem move my intellect
None of dem work for me
None of dem make me feel anything

Synthesize Sanchez, Synthesize.

But...Synthetic fabric

just isn't

the

same

AS THE REAL DEAL.

Hilarious.

I am nothing but a human

a collection of cells

animated by..

.electricity.

∆and unknown forces∆

and hurling in space

at millions miles per second

on this cold piece of

dirt and water

you

and

everyone you know

calls

EARTH.

A cascade of interpersonal relationships

Meaningful

Strong

Deep

But tonight I found a flaw.

In my little system.

and now

I

know

not

how to proceed

As planned

Never bullshit a bullshitter.

And cut the crap.

You stole her shit.

And...I owe it to her to figure it how to prove it.

Hmm...call it love. call it protective nature.

But...pure kindness deservers protection.

And...I would hope anyone would do the same for me.

Take care of yourself, I won't always be there.

MoVeMeNt!

Wow. It's almost like your life motto - act like other people so you don't have to be yourself. Great pictures

what the fuck does that even mean man.

I know my flaws.

hopefully, whoever you are, maybe you'll look at your own.

REMIX

REPLAY

REPEAT

Remember the black lighter dream?

Remember GHOST?

Remember the fish tank?

You've seen them all now.

What in the FUCK does it all mean?

MAYBE NOTHING AT ALL.

∆∆∆∆

Enough of that.

Why do I keep another blog....good question.

I guess in case no one finds this one hehe.

Well I would love to thank...

...

uMmMmM

Everyday thoughts are so...dreadfully dreary.

yet completely complicated.

Beautiful how...

simple

/

complex

siamotainously

He is human after all.

Today I found myself pacing around.

Deciding if...

It even matters if..

I happen to exist

at

this

particular

moment

Things happen.

aAcCtTiIoOnN

RrEeAaCcTtIiOoNn

Little things...make big changes.

I need...to be vigilant.

I need to make connections where others find dead ends.

Mentally...I need to reinforce, and cut down on vices.

Physically I need to become more able.

It is the difference between snapping this picture.

AND BEING ON THE PLANE.

BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT.

Idea - memorize every number you know that somehow identifies you, announce what the number is and say it aloud. Do this non stop for two min.

ScEnE

"I like to look up wild at an infinite sky
Twinkling with diamonds
It's true I get depressed in fancy hotel rooms
Undressed with nothing to flaunt but my loneliness
Thinking of the night song of your hair
Premature as evening falls it calls to me
Interrupted by the sirens in the street"

Well....

hmm

At least I know that I'm in your thoughts.

sound of my soul at the moment



Whoa buddy.

Do I bite...orr...

nibble

Too bad my phone died.

Fleeting feelings.
Empty dealings.
Afraid of kites
flights
and
candle light.



A strong sense of something.




A strong sense
of
something....





HOW DO I

HOW DO I

HOW DO I

INTENSE THINKING
IRREGULAR BLINKING

PLEASE GIVE ME A MACHINE
THAT PROJECTS MY THOUGHTS
PURELY
WITHOUT
THE
NEED
FOR


COMPLEX CONTEXT
OVER THOUGHT CONTENT

CAUSE I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF MISUNDERSTANDING
OF UN REHEARSED PLANNING

HOW DO I MAKE THEM SEE
HOW I SEE


WITHOUT.
THEM.
HAVING.
TO.
SEE.
ME.

HEY WAKE UP

Moderation is seriously one of the pillars I need to stable my life on.

NITO - wake up. wake up. wake up.

Not forever, just enough.

JUST.

WAKE UP.

Upon reflection

The mirrors I have are really rather great.
Each one unique, giving a different reflection.
Some a little more shattered than others....
But all in all i'm pretty damn lucky to have them.

House of mirrors




You'd need a lot of mirrors

Higher Level ThinkinG

FAST
CHEAP
GOOD

YOU CAN ONLY PICK TWO.

Maybe someday I'll find all three?
Though I shouldn't compare my life to posters I see at school.

These ideas need a mirror....
I better polish my mirrors up...










or
find
new
mirrors

slOw dOwn bOy

Oh things are starting to connect

So that's why it makes sense...

Why would anyone in this world want to make cents?


$$$

Won't catch me on the fence
you either jump it
or find way to make rent
life's a bitch, dump it.
Trapped in nine to five,
brain buzzing,
feel the mind hive.



Mother fucker you know I get high.







I guess when you KNOW you are slipping from reality
it is a little easier
to pretend
that
everything
is



F.I.N.E.

LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM
EVERYWHERE THERE WAS DARKNESS AROUND ME
BUT MY BODY WAS A BEACON OF LIGHT
I TURNED
AND WATCHED MYSELF
LAY STILL
ANCHORED TO MY BED
AS MY MIND BEGAN TO


FLO∆T
∆W∆Y

I need...

To be healthier.

really.

Well...


...that worked out nicely...

ºFor nowº

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
øøø
øøø
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆





Hoppy

Energies related.
Light show created.

Connection
=
Affection
≠
Direction

I can read your inflection.
I can feel your selection.
Body asking for redemption.


You already know, i don't have to mention...

..you definitely choose the right section.

REEL

What time is it?

"What is there to be said when there is nothing to say?"

Simply: float in space

When the moon leads you home: SPACE
When the signs go both ways: SPACE
When everyone has their eye on you: SPACE
When the rules don't apply: SPACE
When you no longer want to die: SPACE

Everything seamed a dream.
Have you ever felt like you were dreaming, all while feeling like you've dreamed this before?
It all made sense, socially how much different are we than ANIMALS?
In any sense, not just socially...


Guys puff their chests out when they see a pretty thing.
Girls preen, the social game, just a common theme.





But what did I learn?
The basics:
Keep the love
Make the hate dissapear.

THE MORNING LIGHT WAS HERE
AND WAKING LIFE SO NEAR
I SAY WORDS BUT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HEAR
BUT IT MAKES YOU NO LESS DEAR
NO FEAR

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS WHAT I NOW KNOW.
SO CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL IT?


A SPACE CADET NEED NEVER TOUCH THE GROUND


UNLESS HE SO CHOOSES








just float in space baby

The Truth Is In The Trial

Herewegoagain



BU
BBLE
B
UBB
LE
BU
BBLE



p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p


p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p



øπøπøπøπ


∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆º∆


∫–∫–∫–∫–∫–∫–∫

What are these dreams trying to tell me?
Every night another chapter.
I need to pay attention.
Things have been happening for a reason.
And a shred of truth is right on the tip of my tongue.




SO WHY WON'T IT BE SAID ALOUD?

A red sunrise.



just a part of nature we choose to deny
can't you tell I was birthed from the sky?
birds everywhere try to teach me to fly
but wings are not a human way to get by
we drag our feet, and let our dust say goodbye

9/09/2009

9/09/2009

9/09/2009

9/09/2009

9/09/2009

Honey I'm home?

or
maybe
I
just
never
came
back

















Language barrier

LIST EM OFF

Be still my beating heart.

I need to be a little more careful...


careful...













Careful where you get your eggs.
How you carry them home.
How you prepare them.
How they enter your mouth
How they leave your body.
How they go back to earth.



TryMe
TryMe
TryMe
TryMe
TryMe
TryMe

but only if you let me try first

White space.

































Words.

















lies
taste
of
apple
pies
as
time
goes
by

AND ENDLESS DAY
THAT NEVER
FADES
AWAY
∏
NIGHT
LIGHT
THAT ALWAYS
MAKES ME BITE








BI
BY
BYE


PO
LAR
IZE

FLASH



I need to learn how to control you.

BEFORE I DESTROY US.

CROSS ROADS

Remember the title.
Which one did you choose?











ANGELS WALK AMONG US.
THEIR STEPS ECHO INSIDE US
DEMONS LIVE AMONG US
THEIR WORDS SEEM TO REVIVE US.

BEWARE
THE THINGS
THAT CANNOT
SEEM
TO
SURPRISE
US

Because I know...

"...slowly but surly he has staked his claim"

...go insane

EARTH IN BETWEEN.

Natural selection

Natural reflection

Natural attraction

Natural distraction

bubbling just below

THE SURFACE.

Can't you feel it?

Only on the edge

When the music plays in your ear

And it is everything you can hear

And neither life nor death are near

On the edge

Before the plunge

Is when you'll understand

Why my heart beats in time

Why I can't waste my prime

Why life is so fine

Let me melt in to the divine

Because
I

Am

Weighted

By

thoughts

pots

robots

but I'll never smash a mirror

VENUS

MARS

AND EARTH IN BETWEEN,

So much more than I could ever understand.

I wonder what it looks like...

from the outside...

watching myself

slowly...

and...

surely...

Inane

Insanity

Ignites

Great tragedy

....

But never my own Calamity.

THESE ACTORS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

How...ironic.

Crazy Girls.

Drunken boys.

Don't know where they are going

Don't know what they'll see.

Only thing we know: They'll never lead a "normal" life unless they choose to.

And, that choice...

That choice.....

Is Everything.

But I'm a film major, so I'll be okay...

Right....

?!

Hey guess what, maybe I will be able to stay in this fucking film school.

MY GPA HAS RASIED to an incredibly underachieving 2.6.

Summer school will be two more A's

Oh boy oh boy, schooling is exciting >(

"Everything i'm not makes me everything I am"

Why are the crazy ones so interesting?

Swoosh.

Remember when it was so simple?

Just a smile and some dimples...

I feel like an act is over.

Which one?

Not sure.

Act I

Act II

Act II

Act III

Act IIII

Any good play has 5 acts.

I wish I could figure out where I was.

Quick scene change.

Freshen up a bit.

And get back out there.

I feel...scared, unsure, confused, and nervous.

Is it...really possible for something like this to work?

There is only one way to find out.