∆∆∆GHOST.
GhOst.
gHoS. GHOST.
GhOst.
gHoSt.

GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.
GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.

GHOST.
GhOst.

gHoSt.



∆∆∆
GHOST.



everywhere I look.
but, never, ever, does it consume
me
or fuel the fire
which powers
who
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
am


Hmm, and anyone who sees it differently offends me deeply.
And depresses me greatly.
And will turn me into a...

GHOST.

Only, it's nice...to have some TIME.
Some time to explore the things I tend to neglect.
Or tend to stumble into.
Because we're young.
Because we're bold.
And youth is wasted on the young.

tongue
stun
gun.






Ahhhhh, your eyes reveal much more than what you could say.
Body Langauge.
Timing.
And...a clear or bold head.

I saw a little taste of the vibe I was looking for.
but, again, a fleeting moment.
A gHoSt of a feeling.

Today Males, Heidi, Brad, James, and I played with sparklers at Heidi's apartment.
It was a struggle simply to get them outside, but an excusable struggle, the influence of that green herb we all SeeM to LovE so much makes you MELT.
However, a space captain never lets his cadets down. Outside we went.

It was a struggle to even light them.
Only one Bic was present. Sharing was quite difficult.
Especially when B's went off while all our hands were directly in his line of FIRE.
M ran over and lit his up off off B's outgoing sparks.
H used her Bic to get her's off
I took her's and got mine off.

And lastly J lit his.

We danced in the sparks of our wands:
as if we knew that this was a moment
were we could be simple
were we could dance
under the moonlight
and shower each other with
chemical miracles
if
we
wanted
TILL THE END OF



time.

And then one of those moments happened.
You know the ones.
∆∆∆


I step up and yell "AVADA KEDAVRA" in jest.
Giggles giggles
M steps up and shouts "EXPELLIARMUS"


∆∆∆
Time ceased, why would it care about this moment?
Time appreciates profoundness.

Time granted me a gift.
it SlOwEd DoWn.

It let me experience the moment fully.
Watching the tip of M's Sparkler fly off the wand.
The ball of light, flaming with crackling light and sparks,
Illuminate our faces as it curved around me and landed with a flourish
in
the
GRA§§





˚Perfect˚

How

could I ever forget

a moment like that?

I'm not the best friend you could have.
But I'm no where near the worst.
And that is my truth.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p


Perspective.




V.v.V.v.V

Vibes.






AND THE OUTSIDE VOICE OF REASON













I say it exactly how I meant.
Even if I didn't mean to.

Oh strike me now with inspiration.

Oh hit me where it hurts.

Mere eyes will not suffice.

For what I have unearthed.





Aren't we just so cornered here on earth?







...but what we see in the sky...

...

My Time Ticks By

≈ƒ≈ƒ≈ƒ≈

so...please...

.


∆∆∆∆
TEACH ME TO FLY

How does it feel
to be real
and surreal
all in the same deal

Chess, Cookies, Tequila, red heads, lightning, rooftops, blonds, and....

"I just like you're style you know? Just...how you are"







Ups and downs.

I kept having this dream.
And one person in particular couldn't escape my thoughts.
But, it was a restless sleep.
I could not slumber comfortably.
I kept waking up
and thinking
one
word


GHOST.


Which, one way or another, describes every girl in my life right now.

a summer storm
such contrast
between the clouds
within which
I saw lightning
strike
into the
hearts
of
those
around
me

Another image to add to the collection.

Another feeling to throw in the bucket.
Another idea to toss around the brain.










I'm getting closer......i can feel it.

Wait a second...

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

¡Ho w ma n y o f thes e p ost s ar e DRUG i n duce d ?

...okay carry on

WAKE UP.

√√√

EVERY DECISION WE'VE EVER MADE IS BASED ON THE FALSE PRETENSE THAT WHAT OUR SENSES SENSE IS SOMEHOW THE ENTIRETY OF WHAT "REALITY" IS

Everything...the big decisions in our lives,

the petty ones,

what we love,

what we hate,

what we kill,

what we save,

what is good,

what is evil.

All of that is based on the fragment of reality we experience, the sliver of consciousness our mind, with such imperfect instruments, dreams up.

I mean, I can create a real life on this stage,

I can create the feeling,

I CAN CREATE IT.

Don’t you see the power in that?
I can make you cry,
I can make you laugh,

I can make you cheer for me, bless my every action,
or I can have you screaming for my blood and bring out that primal urge in all of us.


I can show you something that isn’t “real” but gives you every emotion that corresponds with the action on stage,

so what makes it any less real than anything you’d experience off stage?


This all so confusing, and sometimes I dunno wither I am dreaming you all, this whole situation:

The Stage.
The Lights.
The Audience

These very thoughts in my head right now

When does dreaming end, and real life really begin?

(walk towards edge of stage, probably the middle of the cat walk, and get in a trust fall type position)

I cannot see behind me, My senses can’t sense it, so does that mean that anything behind me exists?

Here I go, because if it is a dream maybe I’ll hit the cold fucking floor and it’ll finally wake me up

(fall back, we'll see what happens)
SCENE.

Baby, show you some of your truth.
And I'll show you some of mine.









None of dem get my sex
None of dem move my intellect
None of dem work for me
None of dem make me feel anything

Synthesize Sanchez, Synthesize.

But...Synthetic fabric

just isn't

the

same

AS THE REAL DEAL.

Hilarious.

I am nothing but a human

a collection of cells

animated by..

.electricity.

∆and unknown forces∆

and hurling in space

at millions miles per second

on this cold piece of

dirt and water

you

and

everyone you know

calls

EARTH.

A cascade of interpersonal relationships

Meaningful

Strong

Deep

But tonight I found a flaw.

In my little system.

and now

I

know

not

how to proceed

As planned

Never bullshit a bullshitter.

And cut the crap.

You stole her shit.

And...I owe it to her to figure it how to prove it.

Hmm...call it love. call it protective nature.

But...pure kindness deservers protection.

And...I would hope anyone would do the same for me.

Take care of yourself, I won't always be there.

MoVeMeNt!

Wow. It's almost like your life motto - act like other people so you don't have to be yourself. Great pictures

what the fuck does that even mean man.

I know my flaws.

hopefully, whoever you are, maybe you'll look at your own.

REMIX

REPLAY

REPEAT

Remember the black lighter dream?

Remember GHOST?

Remember the fish tank?

You've seen them all now.

What in the FUCK does it all mean?

MAYBE NOTHING AT ALL.

∆∆∆∆

Enough of that.

Why do I keep another blog....good question.

I guess in case no one finds this one hehe.

Well I would love to thank...

...

uMmMmM

Everyday thoughts are so...dreadfully dreary.

yet completely complicated.

Beautiful how...

simple

/

complex

siamotainously

He is human after all.

Today I found myself pacing around.

Deciding if...

It even matters if..

I happen to exist

at

this

particular

moment

Things happen.

aAcCtTiIoOnN

RrEeAaCcTtIiOoNn

Little things...make big changes.

I need...to be vigilant.

I need to make connections where others find dead ends.

Mentally...I need to reinforce, and cut down on vices.

Physically I need to become more able.

It is the difference between snapping this picture.

AND BEING ON THE PLANE.

BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT.

Idea - memorize every number you know that somehow identifies you, announce what the number is and say it aloud. Do this non stop for two min.

ScEnE

"I like to look up wild at an infinite sky
Twinkling with diamonds
It's true I get depressed in fancy hotel rooms
Undressed with nothing to flaunt but my loneliness
Thinking of the night song of your hair
Premature as evening falls it calls to me
Interrupted by the sirens in the street"

Well....

hmm

At least I know that I'm in your thoughts.

sound of my soul at the moment



Whoa buddy.

Do I bite...orr...

nibble

Too bad my phone died.

Fleeting feelings.
Empty dealings.
Afraid of kites
flights
and
candle light.



A strong sense of something.




A strong sense
of
something....





HOW DO I

HOW DO I

HOW DO I

INTENSE THINKING
IRREGULAR BLINKING

PLEASE GIVE ME A MACHINE
THAT PROJECTS MY THOUGHTS
PURELY
WITHOUT
THE
NEED
FOR


COMPLEX CONTEXT
OVER THOUGHT CONTENT

CAUSE I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF MISUNDERSTANDING
OF UN REHEARSED PLANNING

HOW DO I MAKE THEM SEE
HOW I SEE


WITHOUT.
THEM.
HAVING.
TO.
SEE.
ME.

HEY WAKE UP

Moderation is seriously one of the pillars I need to stable my life on.

NITO - wake up. wake up. wake up.

Not forever, just enough.

JUST.

WAKE UP.