The Sun is my lucky star, and the Moon is my favorite rock.

That empty feeling is coming back.

˚˚∆˚˚

Tonight I lit a cigarette hoping it would calm my nerves.

As the tip began to glow red it feel from my hand.

What a mess.

I wondered around my back yard hoping to stare at the Moon,

but like most things I seem to be searching for now a days, it was nowhere to be found.

A walk, good idea.

As I turned the corner I finally spotted it, glowing in half it's majesty.

Through glasses the Moon seems to sparkle.

I found a bright star and tried to make it my lucky one, but I found no warmth from it.

I realized I already had one.

The Sun is my lucky star, and the Moon is my favorite rock.

I inhaled and felt the smoke steal some of my life away.

What was I doing? I didn't want this, I didn't need it.

I threw it down and took a deep breath.

At least my lungs were happy.

˚˚∆˚˚

Sleep deprivation makes depression easy to catch.

Of the things I get too little of, sleep is right up there, probably next to nourishment.

˚˚∆˚˚

I walked to a bridge close to where I live, the elevation seemed comforting.

As I got closer, the lights surrounding it casted four long shadows around me.

Finally, I wasn't alone, I had an entourage.

A train was was coming, due north.

At the top of the bridge I could pretend that I was on the tracks below without getting hurt.

The lights came closer and I could feel myself getting excited,

a rush,

a danger,

blood pumping.

Before it "hit" me, it stopped, right in the middle of everything.

You think life does things like this on purpose?

˚˚∆˚˚

My entourage and I headed home, deep breaths, slow steps.

I locked myself out.

If I were a braver man, I would have kept on walking.

THE SUN IS MY LUCKY STAR, AND THE MOON IS MY FAVORITE ROCK.

uninspired

There is so much to write, but life doesn't wait for you to get it all down.

September has been good, I think I'm getting ready to do something great if I can all the pieces to fit in nicely.

I'm a little lonely at the moment, mostly because of my own state of mind.

I just walk through everything that happens everyday and I keep searching, asking, and wanting some sort of PURPOSE.

I am fueled by passion, a love and need to express myself in the only way I know i'm good at doing.

But is that enough to live a life on?

What is the alternative? The only ones I see are soulless and are filled with less meaning than what I am doing now.

I can't shake the feeling that something catastrophic is going to happen in my life time that will force me to shift from "living" to "surviving"

It's so fucking pretentious and sounds so stupid, but this thought can't escape my physique.

Blah, I can't even spill my thoughts out here completely, whenever I feel like writing here a million things come up and I forget what I wanted to document.

Love: competition.

I'm a competitive person, but I wish I had better strategy sometimes.

Love: Love.

That's more like it.

DANGER DANGER DANGER.

Ideas can be dangerous, and you seem to love them.

I forgot words were this powerful. How far could this actually go....



immediately dangerous just to show...






DANGER DANGER DANGER

You're trying to prove something, I can't tell what though.

DANGER

DANGER

DANGER





You're pretty and your head is full of DANGER.




and so is mine

A brother hood is what I need.
And fuck what anyone else thinks.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A MOTHERLESS CHILD

The boy grew up.

Always searching.

Always looking.

Always missing,

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

The boy grew up,

and it would show

that he was scarred

that he was charred

that he could be a STAR,

but always missing

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

The boy grew up

and the memories faded

his heart grew jaded,

cause other love never quite nourished

never quite flourished

it was always missing

a vital dose

of

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

sometimes I feel like a motherless child

because I was

because I am

and the older I grow, the less can remember her

and eventually all memories will be gone

and I will be left with nothing.

The only woman who will ever love me unconditionally for the rest of her life

was gone before I could understand

how much it would

help

me

now

Ashes nourish life.

Strength is born from pain.

The boy grew up

Stronger than most

Because no girl could

ever break his heart

the way his

first love

did.