I try to write what my heart feels, but sometimes the words don't translate.

I try to think about what I am really doing, impulses in my brain are commanding my fingers to move and push buttons, and on the screen comes up letters, symbols, splashes of light.

And apparently this muscle in my body, this entity that is compromised of star dust, chemicals and organic matter, apparently this thing is the cause of it all.









Where does this come from?

I think this week has helped me a lot.

I know I'm not alone, people actually share my story, my confusion.

Where do I fit? Who am I?

And how the fuck did I end up in Lincoln Nebraska?


"For too long have we lived in the shadow of the star spangled banner"

...

This world is crazy! I can barely handle it anymore.

Why? I just wonder so much.

So many questions, so many half truths, so many lies.

Pain, suffering, death and confusion.

politics, hierarchy, hypocrisy









But then, whats love got to do with it?




"let's follow our hearts and make something of ourselves."

I always like the middle best.
There is such drive, such motivation.

I can't decide how I want to live my life.
But I don't have to decide yet.



And I guess the truth is, I never have to decide.

Cause the life I'm trying to decide to have, is the life I'm living anyway.










I can feel my soul crying.

I wish I could save everyone.